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“The Wounds of a Friend” - Galatians 4:12-20; Proverbs 27:6

 

“The Wounds of a Friend”

Galatians 4:12-20

Introduction.: Theology is always practical, or at least it should be! Galatians addresses right doctrine, it also speaks to Christian living. Tim Keller affirmed the practical relevance of this section of Galatians:

These verses set before us two contrasts. One is between gospel faith and worldly religion (v 8-11), and is one of the most important and remarkable insights of the whole book. The other is between gospel ministry and worldly ministry (v 12-20), and gives us insights into how the gospel practically affects our relationships with others  (Keller, Galatians For You).

Last week we looked at 4:1-11, and this week we turn to verses 12-20, and consider the practical outworking of the Gospel in our lives. I remember someone giving advice on ministry: “Your people won’t remember everything you tell them… but they will remember if you loved them.” If you’ve been reading Galatians with us this year as we have been going through this series on Getting the Gospel Right, I hope you discerned that Paul was not all head and no heart! Paul is writing as an apostle, church planter, and pastor. Yes, he has been very direct, getting to the matter the Galatians were immersed in (and endangered by!) from the first verses. But if you had any doubt, these verses that we’ll consider today assure us that Paul is confronting them out of love. The Proverb says “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov 27:6). And that summarizes well the contrast Paul is making between his own ministry to the Galatians and the message and ministry of the Judaizers who had come to them. He is concerned with loving the Galatians enough to tell them the truth, even if it hurts, and his desire is to turn them back toward the Gospel truth: grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, to the glory of God alone! John Piper suggests that

“…the basic reason why Christian faith meets with opposition in the world and even finds resistance in our own hearts is that true saving faith always brings with it the reshaping of our heart and mind so that it is no longer we who live but Christ in us. There is in every human heart an intense and powerful love for the praise of men.” 

Paul loved the people who he served, the churches he planted, and the leaders he mentored. He has been harsh in this letter, but rather than just saying what they perhaps would have wanted to hear, he spoke the truth in love.  Sometimes, “love must be tough.” This sets us apart from the world, and it shows them we belong to Jesus: “By this men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

The BIG Idea: Brotherly love should be the basis of our caring and our accountability in the church; and growth, to God’s glory, should be the goal.

I. There is a bond of love in God’s family (4:12a). Notice the change in tone at this point in the letter. Paul had been harsh, perhaps even painfully direct, and now he reveals his heart felt concern for the Galatians…

“Brethren, I urge you to become like me, for I became like you..”

       We could translate, “I beg of you brethren…”  Another translation reads, “Brothers, I urge you…” This is a very personal appeal from Paul, quite a contrast from 3:1,3!  This is an urgent letter from the apostle, but the excitement over their flirting with apostasy is now overcome by his genuine love for them as his spiritual children.  Its almost as if he “sighed” as he wrote 4:11, in moving to this paragraph.  If there was any doubt in the readers’ minds what Paul thought and felt about them, it is very clear at this point that his motivation was his love for them in Christ.  Confronting error or sin or inconsistency in the church is not wrong, in fact it is necessary. That is, as long as the motivation is brotherly love and the desire is not to punish them or to make ourselves look good, but rather to restore. For their good and for God’s glory.   

       In the Greek text, the imperative comes first: “become as I am…” In many contexts Paul exhorts the believers to whom he is writing to follow his example of faith. He was not one to say “do as I say, not as I do.” I remember once when our daughter was maybe 4 years old, we were going down the darkened steps of the church I pastored in NJ. I said, “Stick close Sarah.” Her reply was, “OK Dad, I’ll follow you, you follow God.” That was convicting! Paul walked so closely with the Lord, he could say with confidence, “Follow me, as I follow Christ!” Become as I am. But he reminds them of his relationship with them, how he sought to understand and identify with the nuances of their culture. He, in a sense, became “like them.” In this context he is saying that just as he received them as his spiritual children, just as he became “like them” by identifying with them and becoming one of their own, so should they receive his admonition as their spiritual father, they should “become like him” (c.f. 4:19). This is a great quote from Tim Keller:

Our words are not sufficient for (and maybe not even most important in) persuading others about the truth of Christ. People have to be able to look into our hearts and lives, to assess how we handle trouble, how we deal with disappointment and interruptions, how we conduct our relationships, how we feel and act, so that they can see whether Christ is real and how the gospel affects a day-to-day human life. Generally, we find faith mainly through relationships with joyful, flawed-but-honest, loving Christians, not through arguments, information and books.

Ideally, our lives are putting Christ on display, showing His beauty to the world. Not that we do so perfectly, but people see something real, something authentic, about our faith, and about how we live it day-to-day.

       There are many characteristics that we might choose to be defined by: intelligence, hard work, honesty, humor. Those are all good. But Jesus said, “…by this men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (Jn 13:33-35). That love is visible in how we live and relate. Brotherly love should be the basis of our caring and accountability in the church, and our growth, to God’s glory, should be the goal.

II. If we really love, we must be willing to confront (12b-16).

…You have not injured me at all.  13 You know that because of physical infirmity I preached the gospel to you at the first.  14 And my trial which was in my flesh you did not despise or reject, but you received me as an angel of God, even as Christ Jesus.  15 What then was the blessing you enjoyed? For I bear you witness that, if possible, you would have plucked out your own eyes and given them to me.  16 Have I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth?

       First, Paul relates the circumstances under which he first ministered to the Galatians. And he reminds them of how graciously they had accepted him (12b-13). I think this reminds us that there are some things love overlooks. Things that might make us uncomfortable, or even repel us personally. If it isn’t sin, can we look past differences of culture or the like for the good of the relationship?

       Paul reminds the Galatians of the situation under which they had met, the unlikely, perhaps unpleasant, circumstances that opened the door for him to share Christ with them. God can work sovereignly through unusual circumstances to bring us together. “…because of a bodily illness I preached to you the first time…” Some think that while in Pamphilia (Acts 13:13-14) Paul contracted Malaria and went to Galatia to recuperate.  Maybe… but truthfully we don’t know for certain what Paul’s physical malady was (eye trouble, malaria, epilepsy) [nor do we even know if this is to be identified with his “thorn in the flesh” he refers to in 2 Cor 12:7-10] but whatever it was, it was serious. Yet God used his trial to bring him into a community, to allow extended fellowship with a group of people, who became believers, and at least initially, were taught and discipled by Paul. Galatia wasn’t part of Paul’s ministry plan, but God used that situation for the good of the Galatians, and for Paul’s good as well. A lesson here: it is good to plan, to think ahead about our goals and the next steps in our lives and ministries, but our plans must always be subject to God’s revision! It’s been said, “Man plans, and God laughs!”

       Are you open to God’s redirection? Can it be that the circumstances of life have opened to you an unexpected opportunity? Remember the story of Queen Esther, when Mordecai suggested that perhaps she had risen to power “for such a time as this”?  Can I ask, how did you come to this church?  What were the series of circumstances that God used, the people, the events, to get you here? Do you see His hand in it all?

       The church should be a place where we can find acceptance, understanding, help, accountability, and also opportunities to bless others. That was Paul’s experience when he first ministered among the Galatians… He refers to “…that which was a trial…” The Galatians knew exactly what he was referring to, we don’t. But even so, we can get the lesson: It is easy to be accepting of those who have something to offer us, but are we as accepting of people who have a lot of needs, but at least initially, seemingly little to offer? Could it be that God is working to teach us something, to grow our faith?

       Whatever the trial was, Paul says of the Galatians’ response to him, “…you did not despise or loathe…” Common in the Ancient Near East to view sickness as a judgement from God.  Remember Job’s friends (cf. Job 4:7-9)? And the disciples when they saw the man born blind (John 9:2)? Remember the reaction of the natives on Patmos when Paul was bitten by a snake after having survived a shipwreck (Acts 28:3,4)? But the Galatians, their hearts being softened by God, did not reject Paul. The word “loathe” [ekptuo] literally meant to “spit out” in disgust. It implied a condition that was repulsive. I remember a young couple that was married in the first church I pastored. When they came back from their honeymoon, we learned that something happened to the husband when they were scuba diving in the Caribbean. He experienced something called “mask squeeze.” The result was the whites of his eyes were blood-red. Not just blood shot, but they looked like they had been painted with red paint! When they returned, he went to the apartment of someone who rented from them, and as soon as the woman looked at him, she started to cry! It was that hard to look at! I doubt Paul was doing any scuba diving, but whatever the ailment was that he had, there was something seemingly repulsive about it! Even so, the Galatians looked past the surface, and they received him warmly. His message touched their hearts and many of them believed. A good reminder to us not to get too hung up with physical appearances, externals.  Are we willing to reach out to and embrace people who are despised by the world? 

        Paul goes further: not only were you not repulsed, “…but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus himself…” The word “angel” can mean “messenger,” which Paul certainly was, or perhaps he could be saying that he was given a reception worthy of an angel from heaven.  He was welcomed that warmly and genuinely.  When we welcome people into the church we take responsibility for one another. We choose love because Christ first loved us. We want people to feel at home, and as out trust grows, over time, there is a growing mutual respect which should make us willing to confront, or to be confronted, in love, when the need arises. So, we grow to be more like Christ.

       Paul calls on them in v. 15 to remember their shared history, the “joy” they had when they first believed. The word the NIV translates “joy” can be translated remember the “blessing” [makarismoj] or “blessedness” [ESV]. The term can imply “a feeling of joy, fulfillment and contentedness.” But when Paul asks in v.15, “What became of your blessedness?” (ESV) I think he is saying that their response to him was an evidence of God’s presence and blessing on them (cf. “unity” as an evidence of blessing in Psalm 133). It is the sense we have when we recognize God’s hand in a situation through which we are passing. “God is in this!” Have you been there?  Paul reminds them “…you would have plucked out your eyes…” (That may be a clue that the problem has something to do with Paul’s eyes). The primary point is clear – the Galatians would have done anything for Paul, they loved him in such a way that they would have made any sacrifice for him.

       After reminding them of their history, of the kind of relationship they had, he asks, “…have I become your enemy by telling you the truth?”  (v.16). Sometimes the truth hurts, right?  But if that pain comes from love, shouldn’t we listen?  It broke Paul’s heart as it should break the heart of any Christian to see another being turned from the truth – or living in a way that denies the faith they profess–how much more must it break the heart of God (cf. Isa 5:4; Lk 13:34)!  If we really love, we must be willing to tell the truth!

       The truth may hurt, but remember the Proverb, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, deceitful are the kisses of an enemy” (Prov 27:6).  Love must be tough!  Many appreciate a messenger only as long as he says what they want to hear (e.g. the rich young ruler, Luke 18:18-23). Brotherly love should be the basis of our caring and accountability in the church, and our growth should be the goal, to the glory of God.

III. If we love someone, we desire God’s best for them, especially that they would become more like Christ (4:17-20).

17 They zealously court you, but for no good; yes, they want to exclude you, that you may be zealous for them.  18 But it is good to be zealous in a good thing always, and not only when I am present with you.  19 My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you,  20 I would like to be present with you now and to change my tone; for I have doubts about you..

       Have you seen the Christian movie called “Courageous”? Remember the scene when the one dad makes it clear that He is going to interview any suitors that want to date his daughter? There are different views about dating, but I think most dads who have daughters would like that idea! Are his intentions “honorable”? Paul is making that kind of statement here: these false teachers don’t have good motives (17-18)! Paul now warns the Galatians about who the real enemies were…

       First, in v.17 Paul describe the false teachers. They are zealous, but for themselves.  The term “eagerly seek” was used of a man courting a woman – Paul applies it to false teachers who are trying to win the believers’ hearts – Does this happen today? Are some teachers guilty of skewed motives? That is not new (Acts 20:28-30)! The contrast is that faithful teachers are zealous to make disciples for Jesus, not for themselves.

       Paul contrasts himself with the false teachers. His desire was for their growth and their good, that they would achieve real maturity (19-20).  Paul refers to them tenderly as his “little children.” He uses it as a term of endearment, but also implying that they should grow up!  He says, “I am in the pains of childbirth…” The idea seems to be that as a mother experiences the agony of labor, she does so willingly, longing for the birth of her child. Paul is saying, “You are my spiritual children, yet I endure this suffering willingly, longing for your growth, that you would grow up to more like Jesus.”

       When we are justified by grace through faith, we are declared righteous. That is our position, our standing in Christ. Experientially, Christ must increasingly be “formed in us.” The term morfow speaks to essential form rather than mere outward appearance.  The idea is that believers should exhibit increasingly Christ-like character (2:20). This is the dynamic of the Christian life, the indicative and the imperative in Paul, “This is who you are and what you have in Christ, now live like it!”

       In v. 20 Paul says, “I wish I could be present with you now and change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.” This shows the perplexity of Paul. It is like he is saying, “I know you know better, how could you be taken in?” The verb reading “perplexed” [aporeomai] means “to be at one’s wits end.”  He could not understand how they could have been taught the gospel so well, believed it so genuinely, then appeared to be in the process of forsaking it so quickly (cf. 1:6). And so, he does the hard thing, and confronts them. Would that we, with gentleness and love, be willing to do likewise!

What is God saying to me in this passage? Paul was compelled by brotherly love to confront the struggling believers in Galatia, and it should likewise be the basis of our caring and accountability in the church. Our growth, to God’s glory, should be the goal.

What would God have me to do in response to this passage? What is the defining characteristic of our relationships in the church?  Is it really love?  John wrote, “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another...” (I John 4:10-11).  Let that sink in. What does love in the church look like? It means really wanting the best for each other, wanting to see our brothers and sisters growing in their faith, growing closer to God. 1) Do you love your brother enough to confront him when necessary?  2) Are you willing to accept confrontation when it is given in love? As we live this way in the church, those outside will notice:  By this men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another…”  To God be the glory! AMEN.

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